Transcript of: How to get revenge on the narcissist or the person that hurt you.
If you are seeking revenge, you are probably somebody who is feeling really powerless right now. The whole idea of revenge stems from deep powerlessness.
If you are familiar with astrology, we have this thing called the 7th house. The 7th house describes your relationships, but in traditional astrology it describes your bonded lovers and your enemies- any marriage, or long term commitment. It describes your serious relationships and your enemies. That’s really interesting. Why would you want the sector of your life that is dedicated to your close business relationships, love partnerships and friendships- with your enemies? These are people you don’t want to have any connection with- so why is this?
When you get a restraining order against someone, that person needs to have access to your location at all times. Isn’t that so ironic? The person you are getting a restraining order against needs to know where you are in order to know where to stay away from. The very person you are trying to get away from gets access to where you are at all times. This keeps you contractually, and energetically bonded to the very person you are trying to get away from. How ironic is that?
The reason I bring up these analogies is because it points to the energetic agreement that happens between two people when you have this tumultuous agreement. If you are referring to someone as your enemy- that my friends, is a relationship.
*please take these analogies with a grain of salt. They are to illustrate a point, not teach about legal matters.
If you have this kind of relationship with someone. “I want to get revenge on this person, this person really hurt me, this person’s my enemy” thinking of someone as an enemy. If you think of them and get a feeling of disgust and revulsion, you are energetically tied to that person. As long as you want to get revenge on someone you are energetically tied to them. There is a part of you that is taking that experience with that person and attributing it so much meaning, giving it so much meaning that you are unconsciously keeping yourself attached to the very thing that you are trying to get away from.
This will actually blow your mind but it’s the truth.
Them ore you decide that you want to hate someone- you know how they say that there is a fine line between love and hate, this is what they are talking about. Trauma bonding is powerful. This is why if you are somebody who has dealt with a narcissist, they are going to use that tool, because narcissists are people who feel very insignificant and they thrive on feeling powerful. Every single thing that they do is for show, to get attention and to get a sense of significance. So if they don’t feel that they can be significant to you because you see them for what they truly are, they are going to try and feel significant to you in a negative way. Both ways are negative because we are talking about a severe personality disorder here- but when I talk about the negative way – they are going to try and forcibly invade your aura, invade your space, thrust themselves upon you no matter how that looks so that you remember them. So if you are watching this video because you feel really powerless after having dealt this a narcissist or you feel like something happened in your life that was unfair and you are trying to figure out how to get over it…
I want to offer you a new perspective.
If someone is in so much pain and feels so powerless, so worthless, that they are willing to do anything to make themselves feel that sense of significance, even if its going out and hurting other people, even if its endlessly trying to put themselves in someone else’s face or space, that’s a really sad place to be in. I’m not saying that you have to have empathy for this person- that’s probably the last thing you want to do right now. I’m saying it to appreciate where you are. You have the capacity to feel love. The thing about narcissists is that they will surround themselves with people, getting attention and feeding that endless empty hole, but if they do not get out of that, they don’t experience love. They can be surrounded by so many people and still don’t experience that sense of connection and love. Its like being so hungry, that all you want to do is feast but you can’t even enjoy the feeling that comes from eating that food. You eat and you eat but you can’t taste it, you don’t experience the delicious scent of the food, the textures of the food, the amazing feeling of having a delicious meal after you’ve been starving for months. That’s something to be grateful for, because you have the capacity to love, you have the capacity to connect with other people. If you are watching this video, you have not been setting healthy boundaries. If you are watching this video you are projecting an ideal self onto other people instead of seeing the red flags that are being shown to you. If you are watching this video, you don’t believe in your own power, worthiness and importance so you are attracting in people who have an amplified sense of that and you are projecting that aspect of you onto that person instead of reclaiming it for yourself.
It’s time for you to step back into making YOU the most powerful person in your life, making you the most important person in your life because you are.
The reason I go into all of this is because if you hold on to that idea of revenge, you’re energetically keeping yourself attached to them. Don’t beat yourself up if thoughts of those person come into your mind, if you have dreams where that person shows up this is all a part of the healing process. Time heals everything. But the biggest tool you can use to heal is shifting your perception. It’s all about the meaning you assign to what happened. If you experience something awful and negative in your life and you assign meaning to it – “you do this to me and this happened and I have to get revenge on them and make sure they suffer” – I want you to think about your motivation here. Everything that you are pursuing is about making that person feel something and this is coming from a sense of powerlessness because your focus is all about that person its not hat about you. Do you see how this whole path is about avoiding yourself, avoiding the pain that you feel inside? And its perpetuating this victim cycle of needing to make that person feel something. As long as you are in that cycle you are going to attract others doing the same thing – others in the victim/perpetrator cycle. The whole purpose of this article is to help you get out of it. Don’t worry about them getting their just desserts – they are already getting theirs everyday- they don’t have the ability to feel love. That’s like going to see the biggest diamond on the planet and not even being able to experience the beauty of it. What does anything mean if you have nobody to genuinely share it with? If you surround yourself with people but you can’t even connect with them. If you put on this persona to get people to love you, but they’re still not seeing the real you. So be grateful. Be grateful that you have the opportunity to heal and grow and walk away from this and actually have deep connections with people.
Chances are if you are watching this video you are something with a very open heart – a very big, very open heart, and that’s why you’ll draw in these types of people that take advantage of that. If you have a very big heart ,but you haven’t stepped in your power yet, you probably get emotionally confused easily and there are people who will take advantage of that. Not everyone- most people in the world are good hearted people but when you come across these types of individuals, it can be really disheartening, it can make you feel really bitter inside, really angry at how f*cked up the world feels to you. But as long as you keep yourself in that mindset you are not doing anyone any favours ,especially not yourself. So the best thing you could do is to change that meaning. If somebody treated you badly in your life, and this can range in a number of different ways – let’s say it’s a f*ckboy who is trying to make you feel worthless and used, let’s say it’s a narcissist whose trying to cyber bully you or bully you in person and turn people against you- that’s what they do, it’s a game they enjoy. Whatever it was- don’t give it that meaning.
Take that meaning away, make the experience irrelevant, and then you are truly free.
This is where you have to be wiling to not take things personally, because the things that other people do are not about you. You are always drawing in reflections, for you to learn and grow, so if you drew in a narcissist, or you drew in a psychopath, you my friend, need ots et boundaries. You need to learn to trust yourself. And this is what happens, when you have a very open heart and a very open energy, you’re going to draw in all sorts of people. You have to filter through them. With practice it gets a lot easier, and this is about tuning into your instinct and trusting your instinct. We always know. If you have a big heart, you are intuitive. Your intuition always tells you, you just discount it or don’t trust it. But when you get back in touch with that ability, it gets stronger and stronger every time. If you are watching this, then you are ready to do that. That’s a huge leap to take. You are stepping into a whole new way of being and leaving victim consciousness behind. You are shifting into something so powerful in your life. I’m so proud of you if you are at a stage in your life where you are ready for this, because this is not easy. It’s not easy to step into your power and take responsibility and accept accountability for your life and what you allow into your energy. It’s so much easier to blame other people, to play the victim, to get focused on revenge. When you can step back and not take life personally, you can understand that life is only ever trying to help you. Nothing that ever happens in personal. Yeah okay, you had a shitty experience. It sucks. I get it. But the reason it happened is because it was something for you to learn form or you needed to set boundaries.
There’s something to learn from every experience.
If you are drawing in a narcissist it just represents the aspect of you that is wanting to feel more important in your life. If you are drawing in a narcissist you are the type of person that gives your power away all the time to people around you, you’re always putting other people first, you’re letting other people make decisions for you, you’re not trusting yourself, you’re not trusting your instincts, you’re putting yourself last, and that’s why you’re drawing in this person because you’re looking at someone who puts themselves first at all costs which is also imbalanced- but the reason you are drawing that in is because it represents the other extreme. That person represents something about your shadow, that part of you that wants to feel like it wants to be more important but maybe you feel selfish for doing that, maybe you feel like it’s bad or wrong to do that, so accept it. We’re so obsessed with this idea of us being completely good, narcissists included, everybody included, society included. We’re so obsessed with this idea of being good that we’ll do anything possible to make ourselves the good guy and make the other the bad guy. We are all mixed with light and dark and that is a beautiful thing. Do you how nasty something would taste if it wasn’t balanced? If it was all sugar and no salt? You need salt in your dessert in order to balance it out and make the flavours pop. I love my shadow!
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