Perpetrators often target highly sensitive, empathic people. For an empath that has not connected with their gifts- they are especially prone to emotional confusion, and an unnatural sense of duty or responsibility to others around them. They may take responsibility for every thing- thinking that every thing is their fault, including a complete possibly psychopathic or sociopathic stranger attacking them online, or perhaps someone close to you. Whether it’s a stranger online, or someone once close to you revealing their true colours, when you are easily emotionally confused, others will prey on this to make you take responsibility for things that are not your fault, or to trap you in a parasitic relationship where they try to feed off of your emotional, psychological or sexual humiliation. This article explores how to prevent that from happening, and how to remove yourself from this situation in a clear, concise and timely manner to protect your energy, and give yourself space to explore and heal so that this type of situation cannot interfere with your life, nor your physical, mental, emotional or spiritual wellbeing. You deserve the very best, including recognizing and walking away from abuse. Abuse is never your fault.
- Completely remove yourself from the situation
- Do not look at anything being said about you. Do not watch any videos, do not read any hateful comments, completely disengage, and do not look at it at all. Have a trusted friend administer your accounts, or comb through in case there is anything that requires legal or police intervention.
- Do not engage with this individual or any of their enablers or fellow perpetrators. Other people will try to engage you, discuss the situation with you, or drag you back into the drama. Do not engage with them. Accept support from those who are genuine, but if anything feels off or coloured with drama, block, delete and sleep like a baby.
- Do not invest any energy into trying to prove them wrong or expose their lies. This will create an energy exchange and add energy to the conflict, which is exactly what this person wants. They are trying to provoke you into becoming fuel for their story. Don’t give them the satisfaction. Let them starve. Keep your precious, bright energy for you, and you alone. You decide who gets to benefit from it.
- Do not worry about what is being said about you or what people think. The cyberbully will do anything they can to elicit a response of humiliation from you. They will try to slander you, to destroy you, make up any story, tell any lie to further their agenda. Those with open hearts and discernment will see right through it. Only those that are very confused will be susceptible to being misled, or those that secretly enjoy drama and tearing others down will engage. These people are not for you, and you are not missing out on anything from them having a distorted opinion of you. It is their loss. Allow people to engage in their fantasies and delusions, it is not of your concern.
- Do NOT take it personally. It’s very possible that this individual has an antisocial personality disorder -sociopathy or psychopathy. Their actions have absolutely nothing to do with you. They are simply using you as a pawn to gain power, or further their own agenda. Their actions may also be motivated by extreme jealousy. There is no reasoning with this type of individual. It is not your responsibility to heal this person. Walk away. Regain your inner peace, hold your internal balance and equilibrium.
- Fill your life with activities and things that bring you joy. Surround yourself with trusted loved ones. Spend time with friends who love you and want to see you happy, grow and win in life. Make yourself the priority in your life. Do things that you have always wanted to do. Invest in yourself physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Read new books, visit new places, meet new people and try new things.
- If this situation is involving someone close to you, try to keep new connections casual, until you take the time to heal. it’s important to regain trust in yourself before you make any decisions about who to let in. If this situation involves a complete stranger, practice discernment about which energies you engage with or let in online. Simple things like watching a video or listening to someone’s voice, can connect you into their energy. Responding to their taunts or worrying about what people are thinking of you creates an energy exchange and adds fuel to the fire they are so desperately trying to create. Do not give it your precious energy.
- This is where we go into the part that made you a match to this situation in the first place. This is not an excuse for self blame, self shame or self punishment. You obviously did not wish for this to happen in your life. Experiencing abuse is never your fault and you are always doing the best that you can with the knowledge, self awareness, healing, resources and information that you have available to you at any moment in time. What makes you a match to a bully?
- Poor self image, lack of/unhealthy boundaries, powerlessness and victim consciousness. Focus on empowering yourself in every way that you can. Bullies do not choose empowered, self loving individuals with healthy boundaries. They target those with weaker boundaries, who they feel they can manipulate and control, or conversely, they seek to destroy those who they cannot manipulate and control. Once they find that you are not engaging with them, or giving them the response that they seek, they will move on to something else.
- Examples of negative self talk, beliefs or behaviours that create a vibrational match to powerlessness or victimhood:
- feeling not enough
- feeling unlovable/ unworthy of love
- lack of self acceptance
- extreme or harsh self criticism – this is self criticism that is destructive, rather than constructive
- internal policing (internally policing every single thing that you do to avoid punishment or scrutiny from others)
- unhealthy perfectionism
- self destructive tendencies
- self sabotage
What is the difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism?
Destructive criticism is designed to hurt and undermine you. Constructive criticism is designed to help you, to lift you up, help you do better and help you improve.Trust your inner instincts to let you know what inherently feels off to you. There is a huge difference between someone trying to help you because they love you and genuinely want to see you happy and succeed, and someone who seeks to destroy and diminish you because they fear you.
A cyber bully trying to get under your skin is akin to someone trying to break into your home. This is somebody who is forcibly trying to engage with your energy, and create an energy exchange or a relationship so that they can benefit from it in a parasitic way. This individual does not want to see you win, does not want to see you happy and certainly does not want you to connect with your power. Completely cut away and remove yourself from this energy in your life. Focus on you, your self love, your joy, your well being. Focus on what gives you strength and makes you feel good. You have the power to control your inner environment. This is the perfect opportunity for you to exercise your mental, emotional and spiritual power with Jedi like strength. And remember, if someone is so vehemently attacking you, you can be sure they know you are destined for great things.